I was brought into this world with my whole life ahead of me,
Luckily before it became cool to get a vasectomy.
For a while I didn’t mind being short to some degree
Now I’m stuck thinking where the fuck is the rest of me?
It’s destiny, my genes got the best of me
I bet the big mans up there laughing cos he’s only testing me.
G are you certainly sure you read the right recepe?
cos there’s a few thousand things that I feel I best confess…

Well, where do I start? All I know is most blokes dunno how lucky they are, Not to need to use a cushion when they're cruising in a car, not to be a pro at tippy-toeing, I swear it’s an art. Can I make myself clear, I'm not a walking arm rest as I seem to appear, I mean I've pretty much developed me half a fully grown beard, but 23 ain't easy peasy when you're looking like a kid. And man you wouldn’t believe, just how irritating simple things like shopping can be, I’m in Sainsburys, insanely stinking of weed, gonna need a bit of help to reach my favourite treats. When I'm queuing up on the streets, gonna hit the town hard to hear some intricate beats, while the doorman’s talking, my friends just walk in and leave me fishing for my wallet and a proof of ID.
And this happens countlessly, so can I grab a free degree in accountancy, what is the fee for an accountant or 3? 'cos I could do without it mathematically. But fashionably Couldn’t us kinda dudes, rustle up something subtle and smooth, something that’s new, preferably blue, like platform shoes, then the people will be trending on my devilish moves. Anything but cowboy boots, myself, in the face I would rather shoot, even then Im probably gonna be losing a foot or two & leave me found underground for an extra few. What good can a young man do? When I'm tweeting what I'm eating from the kids menu, then reheating what I’m leaving cos my deceiving stomach’s gonna plummet feeling like its bleeding beaten black and blue. Cos 2 meals for the price of 1 makes me a winner, I would always promise honest when I was young to eat my dinner, but everytime I see my mum she lets me know I look thinner. I'm still sound, never down, holding up my chin chinna.
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No I haven’t considered using medical attention, for perfection is not something I feel I need to invest in, if you do, take a close look at your reflection and ask yourself, would you get an erection over 1 Direction? Hah! Nah man, I’m only messin’, but if anyone would like to be involved with my testing, it’s depressing so I suggest that your best feature yet is thick skin, with broad shoulders & tight pecks to a singular flex. Don’t mean to be a little bitch, but I like a moan, been titch since 2006 & hadn't grown, biggin' up my little clones when its time they have a go, 'cos you know we wont be prone to small man syndrome. And even if it was contagious, I'd spend days teaching all mankind to be courageous, I'd be preaching to all men and women of all ages, & my altar would be made out of saved yellow pages. Because 3 inches below regular height makes me short, and this ship that Im sailing I couldn't even abort, I'd need a small plastic stool to help me jump overboard but still dry staying high let me tell what I've been taught
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In hindsight I’ve blown this whole thing of out proportion, if I died today, and went to heaven ok, I'd swear it was awesome. Say hey & wave through the great white pearly gates to Kurt Cobain, & grab a heaven shake with JFK. But for now with my feet firmly on the ground, what I have found is that my luck is far from down and out, I feel at ease speaking to people as I please, & my great big heart straight away they never doubt. Though I feel that people assume that I’m a nice guy, anything less threatening than being half the majority’s size? Some days I murder a double burger and fries, and never worry about it going to my bum or thighs. It’s all gravy when the ladies call me cutie pie. And past that rock hard shell I know you wanna cry, so be sincere and shed a tear you’re not gonna die! Love a hug, the best drug, I know you cant deny
So summing up what I’ve said down to conclusion, there no point in living life based on lies and illusion, hell yeah we will try and time to time there will be losing, but its best stay stay sly this life I am cruising!
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